Tag Archives: corkscrews

Swiss Army Waiters’ Friend – upgrade

At long last, and in time for the Christmas market, I can announce, exclusively, an upgrade to that popular and essential multifunctional tool, the Swiss Army Waiters’ Friend, (SAWF – AKA Waiters’ Knife).

This is a major step forward in the evolution of the simple corkscrew and blade we know so well. Previously famous only for chocolate, cuckoo clocks, yodelling, holey cheese and secret bank accounts, the ingenious Swiss have come up with a new twist on the historic gadget that is sure to rival the Swatch in sales volume.

Designed by a committee comprising one Swiss watchmaker, two Masters of Wine, and a drunk chosen at random from a local wine bar, the Swiss Army Waiters’ Friend provides a number of traditional functions along with a wealth of breathtaking innovations. All made possible by recent advances in the fields of nano-technology and artificial intelligence.


I will list just a few of this indispensable tool’s major features.

New: a round grippy thing for loosening screwcaps on wine bottles, also serves as a tourniquet. A blade that doubles as an Android/iPad compatible micro SD card for handy data storage. A toothpick that also serves as a GPS. Continue reading